Who Controls the Purse Strings?
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Giving Money to Financial Superior Li Xiaoqing
A 29-year-old middle school teacher in Beijing
In China, it should not come as a surprise when a Chinese man tells you that he surrenders his salary to his wife for safekeeping. Many Chinese women are in full control of the family’s household purse strings and in my family we go by the same approach.
With reference to my husband and I, I keep our bank cards, but we both have access to the account. My husband will surrender and transfer the majority of his salary to the account every month, apart from an adequate monthly allowance for his personal spending. Although we always discuss and agree on major purchases or expenses together, as a wife, I manage all of our expenses: bank loans, medical bills, groceries, and so on. My husband is willing to go along with this approach because he regards me as responsible when it comes to managing finances at home. In my opinion, there are two reasons that explain why it is common in China for women to control the household purse strings and have their husbands’ salaries surrendered to them.
The first one relates to financial management. When that comes to money, it seems that women are more responsible. Women are more inclined to worry about the day-to-day spending of money and therefore make more deliberate investment decisions. Women were more likely than men to cut on spending and prioritize on saving. On the contrary, husbands are more inclined to rationally take on investment risks, and therefore end up spending more. So in that case, their salaries should be surrendered to the wife to manage in order to avoid overspending.
Another reason is that many Chinese women think that if a man gives away or entrusts all his money to his wife, that’s a sign of love. Nevertheless, I suggest money issues be discussed before marriage and both parties consider putting aside a fixed monthly allowance in separate accounts for both their financial requirements and a joint account where the big savings go. I suggest the one who is more responsible and financially independent should be in charge of the joint account.
Husbands are inclined to spend more. So in that case, their salaries should be surrendered to the wife to manage in order to avoid overspending.
Respect and Honesty are the Key Ronald Tafirenyika
A 33-year-old finance consultant in Zimbabwe
Money, if not distributed evenly, can raise issues in all human setups, and families are not exempt. The manner in which a couple administers their finances may either make or break their marriage. In my culture [Zezuru culture], the wife is commonly kept out of the financial decision making; she is usually sidelined as a mere advisor who can only make recommendations to the husband. This approach applied to modern-day society has resulted in failed marriages as nowadays most women earn an income.
Indeed, owing to my tradition, cultural norms and religion, [as a man,] I am entitled to be the sole keeper of family funds, but when it comes to finances, I have decided to be more reasonable and fair. As a couple, we work together and I [husband] encourage that our salaries should be combined, shared and spent together and I choose to adhere to this approach. I have observed that many couples, who jointly surrender their salaries toward the family, are much happier than those that place the responsibility on one spouse.
My wife Milly and I have equal entitlement to our salaries; they belong to us. My wife puts in an equal amount of effort to bring financial stability into our home therefore; she is entitled to my funds as much as I am entitled to hers. I don’t rule out the notion that women tend to be more cautious on expenditures as compared to their male counterparts, but it’s only fair that an equal amount of input by each family member acquiring a salary should require an equal distribution and access to each other’s salaries.
I believe in synergy, and that a combined input is always better than a one-sided approach. Instead of the husband surrendering his entire salary to the wife or vice versa, there should be equal decision making and distribution of funds from both parties, putting each other’s financial needs into fair consideration especially where both parties earn a salary.
Owing to my tradition, cultural norms and religion, [as a man,] I am entitled to be the sole keeper of family funds, but I have decided to be more reasonable and fair.
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